ilovethecolouryellow's Xanga

i feel..

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 00:15:13 GMT

broken...

oh, and I don't really like my new haircut. *SIGHS*

errr.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 02:06:25 GMT

GETTING MY HAIRCUT TOMORROW ;3

im su excited. peace <3

Goodnight, don't let the bed bugs bite - or ghosts...

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 04:13:31 GMT

Ok so clearly, I have been a long way ..far away from blogging here on xanga. I guess I really just couldn't find much to write about that would be the bit least interesting to read. lawl~ ..but anyways I just woke up from a two minute nap (yes, that's a short nap, you must be thinking), because i experienced a bad dream..I think? I was walking alone and then all of a sudden all of the lights and electricity went off. I heard it too. The sound of the eleectricity shutting down, like when you lose power. Then i woke up suddenly. I didn't decide to go back to bed though..but this got me thinking about these other kind of dreams that i have had more then once already.

I think I must have had them at least three or more times, from what I can remember. I will try my best to describe it here though...

So there so happens to be times when out of nowhere I would wake up, my eyes flash open and I am lying there on my bed. But for some reason I can't move at all. I am conscious, and I've tried to move my arms and legs, but I can't seem to move any part of my body...The only thing I can do it blink. It's like someone's sitting on me, or holding all of my limbs down so that I cant move even a muscle. My breathing also gets really weak, and I can't breathe as I would breathe normally. I can't call out or talk out either. As if my voice is gone or someone has stolen it..And I guess my body goes into bit of a shock because there's always tears that drop from my eyes. I don't know if it's because I'm scared, or if I experienced a bad nightmare or a sad dream and woke up crying.

I looked up the symptoms on google and read through a few sites to see if anyone else actually goes through these experiences as well. It turns out that this is an actual sleep 'disorder' (if I can call it that..) called sleep paralysis. All of my symptoms were there. From not being able to move, breathe properly, speak or cry out, and the feeling of having someone holding you down making you unable to do anything. In alot of the sites, they mentioned that actually a good number of teenagers have sleep paralysis at least once in there lifetime. But, a lot of them just brush it off because they think it's only a dream, and fall back to sleep anyways. I haven't really thought about it seriously until as of right now, since i looked it up on google and everything. The sites say that it's not dangerous and its quite common. They give a few tips, but I read through them =/ and none of them seem to be helpful...to me anyways XD ...well that's the weird experience that I go through sometimes while I am sleeping...

Does anyone else have sleep paralysis too? And if you do, how do you deal with it? Any tips? xD

Five things that I can't stand about being asian

Fri, 01 May 2009 18:10:01 GMT

The following are five things about being asian that I dislike: [caution: these are my opinions,so don't take offense to them...if you do then I apologize in advance ;3]

When you're out and riding on a bus or metro,another asian - or more specifically an older asian man or woman makes eye contact with you and throughout your whole ride, they don't stop staring. I don't know what exactly this is,when they see another asian person, (ie. A chinese grandmother sees me on a metro train) they stare at you the whole time. Do I have something on my face?..Is my shirt on backwards? @-@
"You're asian - you must be Chinese". Ok, so maybe I am Chinese, but there are alot of other asian cultures or languages that are out there besides being Chinese...And then they automatically think that because you are Chinese, you have to be smart or know a lot of things."Oh....I thought you were smart..what happened?" *sighs*
"You eat weird food". Here I am not talking about general tao chicken, or anything like Shanghai noodles or chow mein. I am talking about the fact that people cannot handle that people in the world might eat dogs (obivously not the kind you would keep as pets =_=)or sea urchins, or cow brains or anything that is not ordinarly found at a place like McDonalds or Burger King. Well, people who are poor will eat anything that they have access to. It is the same as eating any other foods like chicken or beef. It is just that these animals have always been depicted as the kinds of animals that people keep as pets.
The fact that many asians do not have manners. This of course doesn't apply to all asians. But, from experience of working in a Chinese restaurant for about 3 years, I can say that many of those workers did not have good manners. They will raise their voices really loud in order to communicate with you, even though you are in the same room as them. you can probably hear them from 50miles away. Or the fact that when a lot of them eat dinner, they will talk with their mouths full. (while speaking really loud) >..< I really am self conscious about the whole "don't talk with your mouth full" idea. I believe that it is good manners to chew and swallow before you speak. I don't like seeing the food your are chewing while I am having a conversation with you. Then there is the cutting off of speech. Ok, so you have a lot of things to say. But that doesn't mean that you always have to cut off what I am saying. Again, I go along with the "Let others have a say before you put your own 2 cents in". Maybe I am just too americanized? Is this really the culture that I belong to =__=
Lastly, the fact that many asian parents have a need to brag about their kids accomplishments to other asian parents. Well, this is good when you're child is doing well in school,and by all means,you should have a right to tell others. But not excessively. Don't bore us with the list of activities that you're child is in and start listing everything O: ie: "Yes,my daughter is so involved in extracurricular activities, she plays piano,goes swimming, plays the flute, tutors highschool kids, O did I tell you she got an A+ in advanced physics? O and did I mention she plays piano?" ..It is ok to mention good things about your child, but not to brag about it all the time. It really can get tiresome.

Anyways these are just a few of the big things that bug me with the fact that I am asian. I have thought about what it wouldbe like if I wasn't asian. Of course, there are also good things about being asian. I just like to point out some of the bad things, or at least what I consider to be bad, about being an asian.

marketing

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:58:01 GMT

Here's a small ad I put together in 5 minutes for my marketing class lol. We came up with a product that is quite smiliar to Facebook (hence the name) it's basically a website where you can organize your school schedules and you can communicate online through the site to your fellow students. I don't know why I'm posting it. I guess alittle helpful criticism? ;3 I want to make it abit better and maybe change and add extra things into it. Comments are welcome ;D thanks~ (click the picture for a bigger version)

cheers

newb

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 01:54:36 GMT

*screams and lets out frustrations*

much better ;D

summer school D:

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 23:04:06 GMT

Summer school. It's where I'm going to be spending my summer days while friends and aquaintances of mine are suntanning at the beach, having picnics, swimming, bikeriding, ..and doing summer-y things. =[ I shouldn't complain. I knew that when I signed up to be in a Co-operative program, where you have to go to school and also have internships and work terms in alternate semesters, that I would have to take classes in the summer. It's the schedule that they provide for you so you can finish your university degree within 3 years and probably guaranteed a job after grad. Still, the thought of having to spend the summer days inside my school, and studying in a heat wave doesn't seem too thrilling x] I hope that things will be worth it when I get to do workterms and internships so I can gain experience in my field of study. I have to come up with a schedule for next tuesday..time to look for my courses...

Bah, summer school T__T...

i...

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 02:56:54 GMT

hate mondays...

darnit...

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:32:31 GMT

I had my second to last midterm..this one was tougher than the others. =[ But I didn't really want to blog about my midterm..just about what happened around 15 minutes before that =/ So I was sitting on a bench outside waiting for the classroom for my exam to let the students to do the exam. I was there reviewing my notes and looking over this booklet that I got, because the week before I had done a crash course on the materials for the exam (because I was sure, and I am happy that i did, that i would have needed the material clearer since my professor was not that great of a teacher and at explaining things..) About 1 minute goes by since I sat down. And then who sits down right next to me? The cute guy from my class. (and of course I noticed, cause he's so cute! XD it was hard not to notice *insert a shrug*) AND..that's not all..he turned towards me and asked me something about the exam *_*

Our conversation:

Him: *turns towards me* Hey..can I ask you something?

Me: *turns towards him and stares at his perfect skin xD* of course ;D

Him: how do calculate the dead weight loss between the consumer and producer surpluses? Cause i tried to follow the example he gave us, but I'm abit lost...

Me: [in my head: o gawd he's so cute] ummm ....

And then it struck me..I had only about 4-5 hours of sleep that whole week because of midterms, so I knew that I had huge dark circles under my eyes (welcome wagon to university life? x_x) and I was only wearing a hoodie, jeans and had my heavy winter jacket (yes it snows where I'm from) and I didn't bother putting anything on my face that morning..because well..I didn't feel like I had reason to? ..and it was to face my deathly exam after all - the exam didn't need me looking good right? XDD ..man was I wrong. He picked the day I looked my worse to talk to me..I felt like pulling out my hair ._. Plus when we were talking I kind of avoided his gaze and didn't answer him like I usually would. I gave him a small answer which I know he probably knew =[ After thinking about it, I realize that I should have just acted normally. He must think that I'm a mean person for not replying to his question properly >~< and darnnit..I wish I looked better...

~sighs~ @_@...i hope I did ok on the exam =3= ...hopefully something went right?

It's highschool all over again

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:02:10 GMT

Ok so there's drama between my close friends. It's an upsetting feeling because, well, we've been friends for a long time. My bday just passed too, and it now a dumb argument happens. The drama is mostly between friend A and friend B. I won't say names..well because who knows? they might read this post @_@...Both of them I have known since highschool, which was..around 7 years ago? O: Friend A basically lies and exaggerates alot...you can never really tell what is the truth anymore, because things just don't add up. And Friend B is known for getting upset easily, building up anger inside and then unleashing it in one big blow. So, last saturday, both Friend A and B are talking to eachother on msn and Friend B blows up on Friend A. Friend B says things like "you're such a liar, nothing of what you say anymore makes any sense, and you can't keep up with your lies, I've had enough, etc" And Friend A, gets upset, says "I'm not a liar, lying is one of my pet peeves, why would I lie, etc" ...How do I know all of this? I get a phone call that same morning (which is the morning after my party where BOTH friends were fine and dandy the night before during my party..) and its my best friend. She calls to tell me what happened between Friend A and Friend B. Friend A called her up to confront her on the whole lying issues. Friend B apparently also brought my best friend and myself up in the msn conversation, saying things that were not true. "you can ask [my best friend] and [me] what they think cause I bet they think that you are a liar too" ...umm o_O what???...

*thinks about it*

I seriously do not get how I got involved in all of this? Sure, I can see where Friend B is coming from..I have never called out Friend A on her exaggerations, but even if I did catch something that didn't match up to something that was said earlier, I would just ask =___= ..I don't get why Friend B had to bring us both into the conversation o__O I seriously did not want to be apart of their issues, since they clearly had to work things out between them both. I know that things have been abit shaky between them both =/ I think Friend B was really trying to strengthen the argument and get Friend A angry. >..< especially since this week I'm having midterms - I really do not want to have to think about all of this...*sighs* .___.